Horrible

Well I guess it could be said that Monday night's game (if you can call it that) didn't go the way of the Buckeyes. The only good that could come from such a horrific loss would be if some juniors who might have otherwise turned pro come back for their senior season. But that's a stretch.

Finally

The day of the national championship game has finally arrived. It's been 50 days since the Michigan game and tonight the Buckeyes finally get to prove their dominance over the rest of the country by destroying Florida in Glendale.

Here's a loose transcription of a conversation I had with the cleaning lady in our office building on Friday. I was wearing a Troy Smith jersey.

CL: Those Razorbacks are gonna win next week.
Me: They're not playing the Razorbacks. They're playing the Gators.
CL: Aren't they playing in Arizona?
Me: Yes, but they're not playing Arizona. They're playing the Florida Gators.

It took me a minute to realize that she was probably thinking of the Diamondbacks, which are of course a baseball team. I don't have a problem with someone talking smack, but if you're going to do it, you might want to have some clue of what you're talking about.

Go Bucks!

Landslide

In case you've been living on another planet, Buckeyes quarterback Troy Smith won the Heisman Trophy this weekend. It was the 7th time an Ohio State player has won and the 2nd largest margin of victory in the history of the trophy. Watch yourself, Gators.

Glendale

After USC's loss to UCLA in the Pac-10 championship on Saturday night, speculations arose as to who would battle Ohio State in the National Championship game in Glendale, AZ on Jan 8th.

Apparently the voters in the human polls (which make up 2/3 of the BCS rankings) did not want to see a rematch of the Michigan game, because they voted Florida in as the #2 team. Judging by the above survey, the Bucks are favored to win.

Bring it on, SEC.

Bowl Names

When I was a kid, the college football bowl games weren't named after their sponsors. It was the Orange Bowl, not the FedEx Orange Bowl. It was the Sugar Bowl, not the Allstate Sugar Bowl. The change was of course motivated by greed, but I think the names have gotten a little ridiculous. Some bowls are named after companies that seem like an odd choice, like the the Meineke Car Care Bowl or the Brut Sun Bowl. Some have chosen to go with only the company name, like the Champs Sports Bowl or the GMAC Bowl. Some of the companies obviously don't care how long or stupid the name sounds, so we have the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, the Pioneer PureVision Las Vegas Bowl, and the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. The Peach Bowl is now The Chick-fil-A Bowl, the Hall of Fame Bowl is now the Outback Bowl and the Citrus Bowl is now Capital One Bowl. I guess the next step is for all of the bowls to add a second sponsor to the end of the name, like the The Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl presented by Bridgestone.

Fortunately the Ohio State Buckeyes will be playing in the most appropriately named BCS National Championship Game.

Troy SI

Obviously it's a great year to be an Ohio State football fan, but this week's cover of Sports Illustrated featuring Troy Smith is an added bonus. It's the third time the Bucks have made the cover this year and the second time for Troy.

Undefeated

Lego Horseshoe

I love the Buckeyes, and I love legos. But I would think that this scale replica of Ohio Stadium could be appreciated by anyone.

Illini

I had the good fortune on Saturday to attend my 2nd consecutive Ohio State game. This time the tickets came from my sister and Dan and I made the road trip to Champaign.

Our seats were 12 rows up and there were easily as many Buckeyes fans there as Illinois fans. This made me proud of our people and their willingness to travel, but one thing that embarrassed me was how ignorant some of them were. Everyone knows that the big cheer for Ohio State is an O-H met with an I-O. For Illinois, their cheer is an I-L-L met with an I-N-I. This of course spells Illini, their mascot. But Dan and I heard our peers comment several times that their fans didn't even know how to spell, assuming that they were trying to spell out the name of their state. But at least they're loyal enough to make the road trip.

In the end, the Buckeyes won the game, though not as convincingly as some might have liked. The media is trying to paint it like they narrowly avoided an upset, which is not really accurate. They lead 17-o at halftime and played Tressel-ball for the 2nd half. Illinois started to play a little bit at the end but were never at a point where any of us were worried. At least not in the way that Ball State had Michigan worried. Besides, you can't really fault the players for not wanting to go all out and risk injuring themselves before the biggest game in the history of the universe.

More pictures are available in the gallery.

Only in Ohio

In most states they would probably just write 'wash me'.

Great Day

I pretty bummed during the last few weeks because it seemed like everyone I knew was going to the Ohio State game this past Saturday except for me. Erin and her sister were going, Tim and Mary were coming down, Terby and Klaus had tickets, and I was destined to watch from my living room.

Then Fisher decided to come to town and we all went down to tailgate with Klaus's cousin Katie near the stadium. After a few hours of drinking other people's beer and eating other people's food we found ourselves hanging out in a pretty sweet RV, ready to watch the game while everyone else left for the horseshoe. Then Fisher pulled a Fisher and talked Katie and her boyfriend into selling us their student tickets. Before long we were down in the A-deck watching the Buckeyes shut out Minnesota with 100,000 of our closest friends.

I'm not sure if the highlight was watching the Golden Bear dot the I in Script Ohio or the fact that I got into the game using the ID of a girl who looks like this. Either way, it was a great day.

More pictures are available in the gallery.

Thug Life

The Ohio State Buckeyes have long been called thugs by their detractors because of the large number of players who have run into trouble with the law. While I certainly don't condone this behavior, one college football game this weekend exposed the true thugs: The Miami Hurricanes.

If you haven't seen footage of the brawl between the 'Canes and Florida International on Saturday, just tune in to ESPN sometime in the next few days and you're sure to catch it. This one took the South Carolina-Clemson brawl in 2004 to a new level. There were players stomping on heads, Haynesworth-style. They even used crutches as weapons. It was a disgrace to the sport and as of now there have been quite a few players suspended, but only for one game. If it were up to me, none of them would ever play college football again. Larry Coker should be fired. It's hard to believe that this is the same Miami that almost beat OSU for the national championship.

What I don't understand is why this is such a heated rivalry. I realize that both schools recruit from the same area in Florida, but at what point has FIU been a contender? Why worry so much about a school whose only notable alumnus is Andy Garcia? Ohio State and Michigan have the biggest rivalry in the history of football, but you would never see them brawl like this. They hit harder in that game than any other, but afterwards you will still see the players throw the ball to the official out of respect for the game, their coaches, and the fans.

Football

It's been a busy few days in the world of football. The Buckeyes beat Penn State, the Bengals beat the Steelers (despite losing Odell for the season), and T.O. didn't commit suicide.

I just hope that this coming weekend is as good to Ohio. The Bengals play New England and OSU plays Iowa at Iowa, which could be their toughest game yet. And ESPN GameDay will be there, making this the 3rd week out of 5 that they're setting up camp at the site of the Buckeyes game. Apparently they know where it's at.

Number One

Cursed Buckeyes

The Ohio State Buckeyes are on the cover of the current issue of Sports Illustrated. They are ranked number one. This just about guarantees that it won't happen. The only hope is that the cover is one of 6, so maybe those other 5 teams will be cursed and the bucks will come out ahead. Damn you SI!

My Poem

by Joe Patten

Indiana is a place of Hoosiers
Illinois is orange and blue
Michigan State is located in Michigan
And Michigan is full of poo
Ole Wisconsin smells like hair
In Evanston no one cares
Minnesoter is always soft
And Purdue has nothing but a drum
Iowa has hay
Penn State is work out gay
And Michigan located in Ann Arbor is dumb (dumb like a big pile of crap)
Ohio is the greatest land of all
People born there are better than others and their football is second to none
(last lines are sung to the national anthem)
Ohio State is the greatest team on earth
And that’s why Jesus was birthed
Amen

Theoretical Mind Theory

by Joe Patten

After watching last year's OSU Michigan game again for the 33 time I had one of those light bulb moments where something made sense to me that I had never really cared about before... First of all I'd like to thank DVR for the ability to relive Lloyd Carr's expression as time expired....

We all know what happened at the end of the game, so I won't rehash. The theory I've come up with is the reason why it happened and why it will continue to happen in the future.

Ohio State had just crossed Michigan's 48 yard line on a spinning scramble throw from Troy Smith to Santonio Holmes. On the next play Troy Smith threw an inside slant pattern to Gonzalez that went through his hands and fell about three feet from the stupid Gander safety who was trying to intercept the ball. It was one of those nasty "Holy Shit" moments that make me stand up and throw things in the air... I didn't know at that point in time that Gonzalez would go and TOTALLY REDEEM himself.

Anyways sorry, because it was an incompletion both teams had a little time to regroup. This is where my theory comes into being.

The clock read 1:50. Ohio State was driving toward the end zone but had just made a small error. At this moment in time the Michigan band started playing "Hail to the Victors." 110,000 people started screaming and fans were up on their feet yelling out the lyrics PRAISING THE VICTORS.

The problem with this picture and the reason for my theory is that Ohio State was driving towards the winning TD. "Hail to the Victors" is a completely presumptuous song. Gander fans sing about winning games they haven't even won yet....

As the Blue band cooled down, the Ohio State band chimed in with "Hang on Sloopy." This song makes so much sense to me now!! I always liked the song but it really made sense after hearing 110,000 dick bags singing about how they had won a game that they hadn't really won! Hang on Sloopy don't listen to the idiots who think the game is over...

Ohio State beats Michigan because we are not presumptuous. We have great respect for every team we play. When we go to Michigan we know we are going for a fight. Hang on Sloopy is played because we have to remind all the gander fans that we are not leaving until the game is over. Even if you guys want to call the game while your ahead…

The Victors is a song that should be saved for the end when you have actually won in my opinion… That’s all I'm saying... I sent Lloyd a MEMO but have not yet received a response. This is what it said...

21-19 1:50 left and the Michigan Band plays Hail to the Victors??? (What have you won?)
21-19 1:50 left and the Ohio State Band plays Hang on Sloopy (ignore the presumptuous jerks who think the game is over)

25-21 no time left and the Ohio State Band plays Across the Field (we won let’s celebrate)...

Which school has smarter folks??? Ohio State is so much cooler than Michigan on so many levels. I can't believe anybody could actually like the Wolverines. It’s not too late guys.

"In Every Michigan Fan there is an Ohio State Fan dying to get out!"

Sincerely,

Joe

Party in Hell

Tuesday's date will be 6/6/06. I keep seeing this story about the party that's planned in Hell, Michigan. How clever. Don't they know that all of Michigan is hell? Hey-o! Go Bucks!

Drafted Buckeyes

As usual, the Ohio State Buckeyes fared well in the NFL draft with 5 players going in the first round. Here is the breakdown of where they will be playing.

A.J. Hawk - Green Bay Packers
Santonio Holmes - Pittsburgh Steelers
Donte Whitner - Buffalo Bills
Nick Mangold - New York Jets
Bobby Carpenter - Dallas Cowboys
Ashton Youboty - Buffalo Bills
Anthony Schlegel - New York Jets
Rob Sims - Seattle Seahawks
Nate Salley - Carolina Panthers

Go Bucks

The Ohio State Buckeyes pulled off a win yesterday.
Even with the Michigan superfan rooting against them.