RIP Randy Walker

Northwestern head football coach Randy Walker died suddenly yesterday of an apparent heart attack at age 52. Before moving to Northwestern he was the head coach at Miami for 9 years. His daughter Abbey and her husband Brian are friends of mine, and my deepest sympathies go out to them and the rest of the Walker family. He was a great human being and his death is truly a tragedy.

My Poem

by Joe Patten

Indiana is a place of Hoosiers
Illinois is orange and blue
Michigan State is located in Michigan
And Michigan is full of poo
Ole Wisconsin smells like hair
In Evanston no one cares
Minnesoter is always soft
And Purdue has nothing but a drum
Iowa has hay
Penn State is work out gay
And Michigan located in Ann Arbor is dumb (dumb like a big pile of crap)
Ohio is the greatest land of all
People born there are better than others and their football is second to none
(last lines are sung to the national anthem)
Ohio State is the greatest team on earth
And that’s why Jesus was birthed
Amen

Rupert's Space

MySpace has just been purchased by Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation. If you're not familiar with News Corp, they are the conglomerate that owns Fox, DirectTV, TVGuide, and a shit-ton of newspapers. Yes, Fox News and MySpace are now owned by the same company. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. It sounds like they're putting some money into the site though. Hopefully that includes more/faster servers.

Oh Axl

Not that it will come as a big shock to anyone, but apparently this morning Axl Rose was involved in a confrontation in Stockholm, Sweeden during which he allegedly bit a security guard in the leg. You might assume that the only time you'd hear about a 44 year-old man resorting to such tatics would be on COPS, but we're talking about Axl here. It's almost as if he's intentionally trying to stall any possibility of resurrecting his career. Oh Axl, there might be 2 fans out there who are still excited about Chinese Democracy. Are you trying to alienate them too?

Most Controversial

I just came across Entertainment Weekly's list of the 25 Most Controvesial Movies Ever. I'm not sure how one measures controversy, but some of the movies they included seem pretty tame. And the fact that they have Aladdin listed right next to Caligula almost forced me to stop reading. But it's worth checking out. I will tell you right now that #1 is predictable and disappointing. Enjoy.

New Guster

Guster's new album, Ganging Up on the Sun, was released yesterday. Erin and I have been enjoying it for the last few weeks. Do I feel guilty? Not really. I pre-ordered it through their website for delivery to my door. I just decided to use the internet to get a jump on my listening. I love technology. Anyway, give it a listen if you like good music.

Chung Tonight

In case you haven't seen the video of Connie Chung going insane in front of the whole world.

Roo Wrap-up

What an amazing weekend. Strangers became friends, friends became better friends, and Radiohead blew everyone's minds. It was hot and humid but completely worth it. Pictures are up in the gallery.

Radiohead

01 There There
02 2+2=5
03 15 Step
04 Arpeggi
05 Exit Music
06 Kid A
07 Dollars And Cents
08 Videotape
09 No Surprises
10 Paranoid Android
11 The Gloaming
12 The National Anthem
13 Climbing Up The Walls
14 Nude
15 Street Spirit
16 The Bends
17 Myxomatosis
18 How To Disappear Completely

Encore 1:
19 You And Whose Army?
20 Pyramid Song
21 Like Spinning Plates
22 Fake Plastic Trees
23 Bodysnatchers
24 Lucky
25 Idioteque
26 Karma Police

Encore 2:
27 House Of Cards
28 Everything In Its Right Place

Will write more after sleeping...

Big Weekend

Erin and I leave tonight for the sold out Bonnaroo Festival in Manchester, Tennessee. We will camp for 3 days and see numerous musicians including Radiohead, Beck, Common, Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Folds, Bela Fleck, G. Love & Special Sauce, Medeski Martin & Wood, Blues Traveler, Tom Petty, Phil Lesh, Nickel Creek, Blackalicious, moe, Bright Eyes, Rusted Root, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, Donavon Frankenreiter, Dr. John, Buddy Guy, Oysterhead, M Doughty, Seu Jorge and many more. I will post pictures next week.

Need Him, Feed Him

It would be kinda weird if Paul McCartney died right before his birthday on Sunday, wouldn't it? After making such a big deal about it?

Roethlisblunder

Today in Pittsburg, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was involved in a motorcycle accident in which he suffered a broken jaw, broken left sinus cavity, a 9-inch laceration on the back of his head, lost a bunch of teeth, and has severe injuries to his knees from hitting the pavement. His motorcycling has been an issue in the past, but it came to a head today.

Ouch.

I don't want anyone to get hurt, especially former classmates (actually there are plenty of former classmates for whom I would not shed a tear were they to face plant into a windshield), but I have to admit that I smiled a little when I heard the part about his knees. I have a feeling Carson Palmer smiled a little too.

Can You Say...

In the spirit of The Old Hide The, here comes the great google results for the phrase "can you say":

Can you say awkward?
Can you say brrruuup?
Can you say whiplash whiplash whiplash?
Can you say baydool?
Can you say hemmi?
Can you say misnomer?
Can you say mmm...as in miles?
Can you say multimillionaire?
Can you say bloodbath?
Can you say spannferkel?
Can you say pterodactyl?
Can you say bling bling?
Can you say furburger?
Can you say overachiever?
Can you say egotistic?
Can you say fuggly?
Can you say BAWK bawk bawk?
Can you say necrophilia?
Can you say liarrrrrr?
Can you say BOOOOOOOM!?
Can you say WACKO?
Can you say hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia?
Can you say giggidy giggidy?
Can you say huitlacoche?
Can you say jalopy?
Can you say phht, phht?
Can you say booga booga?
Can you say SWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEP!?
Can you say widgiemoolthalite?
Can you say sesquicentennial?
Can you say mahi-mahi?
Can you say antidisestablishmentarianism?
Can you say hubba hubba?
Can you say houyhnhnms?
Can you say tacos, tacos, tacos?
Can you say chingalingas?
Can you say palmCrack?
Can you say hummina, hummina?
Can you say doppelganger?
Can you say oligopoly?

Theoretical Mind Theory

by Joe Patten

After watching last year's OSU Michigan game again for the 33 time I had one of those light bulb moments where something made sense to me that I had never really cared about before... First of all I'd like to thank DVR for the ability to relive Lloyd Carr's expression as time expired....

We all know what happened at the end of the game, so I won't rehash. The theory I've come up with is the reason why it happened and why it will continue to happen in the future.

Ohio State had just crossed Michigan's 48 yard line on a spinning scramble throw from Troy Smith to Santonio Holmes. On the next play Troy Smith threw an inside slant pattern to Gonzalez that went through his hands and fell about three feet from the stupid Gander safety who was trying to intercept the ball. It was one of those nasty "Holy Shit" moments that make me stand up and throw things in the air... I didn't know at that point in time that Gonzalez would go and TOTALLY REDEEM himself.

Anyways sorry, because it was an incompletion both teams had a little time to regroup. This is where my theory comes into being.

The clock read 1:50. Ohio State was driving toward the end zone but had just made a small error. At this moment in time the Michigan band started playing "Hail to the Victors." 110,000 people started screaming and fans were up on their feet yelling out the lyrics PRAISING THE VICTORS.

The problem with this picture and the reason for my theory is that Ohio State was driving towards the winning TD. "Hail to the Victors" is a completely presumptuous song. Gander fans sing about winning games they haven't even won yet....

As the Blue band cooled down, the Ohio State band chimed in with "Hang on Sloopy." This song makes so much sense to me now!! I always liked the song but it really made sense after hearing 110,000 dick bags singing about how they had won a game that they hadn't really won! Hang on Sloopy don't listen to the idiots who think the game is over...

Ohio State beats Michigan because we are not presumptuous. We have great respect for every team we play. When we go to Michigan we know we are going for a fight. Hang on Sloopy is played because we have to remind all the gander fans that we are not leaving until the game is over. Even if you guys want to call the game while your ahead…

The Victors is a song that should be saved for the end when you have actually won in my opinion… That’s all I'm saying... I sent Lloyd a MEMO but have not yet received a response. This is what it said...

21-19 1:50 left and the Michigan Band plays Hail to the Victors??? (What have you won?)
21-19 1:50 left and the Ohio State Band plays Hang on Sloopy (ignore the presumptuous jerks who think the game is over)

25-21 no time left and the Ohio State Band plays Across the Field (we won let’s celebrate)...

Which school has smarter folks??? Ohio State is so much cooler than Michigan on so many levels. I can't believe anybody could actually like the Wolverines. It’s not too late guys.

"In Every Michigan Fan there is an Ohio State Fan dying to get out!"

Sincerely,

Joe

Odell Flies

Joe sent me this picture of Odell Thurman that Dana sent him. I just thought it was cool. Who Dey?

Party in Hell

Tuesday's date will be 6/6/06. I keep seeing this story about the party that's planned in Hell, Michigan. How clever. Don't they know that all of Michigan is hell? Hey-o! Go Bucks!