by Faraballer
Since when did this site become a stage for Steve to rant about the stupidity of the common man?
Don't get me wrong, I still like Steve and I used to like coming to this site daily to enjoy a good laugh, but now I feel like I'm being judged for everything I do!
So what if I sometimes have trouble using the self-checkout?! I worked in a music store since 8th grade, so I don't have the mental deficiencies needed to operate a grocery store register. Maybe mall workers aren't the brightest bulbs on the tree either, but its antisocial grocery store clerks that make the food shopping world the virtual hell it is today. Maybe if they wouldn't hire such total head cases, there would be no need for self-checkout lanes. I know I'm smart enough to check myself out, but sometimes I get nervous when there's a beautiful girl nearby, which is almost always, and I make poor decisions. And why do they give me 11 different payment options? It's like they're begging for people to screw up! But now I'm lowering myself to Steve's level, which is the only reason for this post.
Moving on, I am a smoker. I've quit before and when I did, I hated smokers myself. But now I like to practice a little something called tolerance. I know there are a lot of ignorant, stupid and rude people in the world. Some of them do things to piss people off on purpose, like throwing butts at Steve's car, but who wouldn't do that? I even throw lit cigarettes at my best friend sometimes, its good comedy! I just don't want to junk up my ashtray with a plethora of toxic carcinogens that look and smell nasty, so I air mail them out the window. Where are the smokers of the world supposed to put their change??? Maybe if I was provided with enough ashtrays to hold everything I need in my car, I wouldn't HAVE to throw crap out the window. Ever think of that? Maybe very small laundry baskets? I'm always careful to make sure there is nobody behind or next to me when I throw my butts out because I agree it's annoying to have someone's garbage hit your car. Don't they have the "Adopt a Highway" system for a reason?
Anyway, my point wasn't to show everybody how much of a jerk I am, I just wanted to get one simple message across:
SHOW ME THE FUNNY!
Like my father always says, "If it ain't broke, why change it around and screw it up for everybody else just because you don't have a shrink to dump all your problems on." I know you're itching for a change, a revolution if you will, but it's already getting out of hand. Can't we mix articles and snippets? What inspiration can I gather from a site that makes clear to me that I am a part of everything wrong in society? Let's stick to what made this site the daily destination it has been in the past: quality links, short posts and lerbils. Lerbils stuck in the same everyday situations and environments we face, so our problems seem funny.
Man, wise up!
POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
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5 comments:
Aimee Mann song titles aside, if you require short funny posts then maybe you should just check out Fark or GorillaMask. So Joe gets to complain about OSU football and you get to complain about me, but I don't get to complain?
First of all I was complaining about the Cops in Columbus. I would never say anything negative about the single greatest thing on earth. The Cops in Columbus are dickbags who are singling out the football team to further their ego's as the world's greatest butt monger.
Secondly Aimee Mann is a man, I unfortunately have proof.
I personally like the longer articles. I wish their were more with lerbils in them.
If you aren't friends of ours, don't post comments to this site. If you do, at least check your spelling.
Good call about the team Joe. I stand corrected.
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