Faraseyisms

I was cleaning out old text messages from my phone today and had to share some classics from the Faraballer. Here are my favorites this time around:

I'm getting some McGriddles for breakfast & noticed how everyone here smells funny in their own way.
Sunday August 21st 2005
10:32am

If that was you just calling me, I'm pooping.
Thursday September 15th 2005
9:42am

I ordered Chinese food. My first fortune was "you will be needed by a close friend." My second fortune was "you will be needed by a close friend."
Friday September 16th 2005
9:21pm

IT needs to take my laptop & wipe it clean, how can I make sure there's nothing on there that will get me canned?
Thursday October 6th 2005
5:18pm

Please text me the name of the guy who narrated The Wonder Years and was in Home Alone. I know you know.
Wednesday December 14th 2005
7:22pm

Six Degrees of Wikipedia

I recently discovered a cool site called Six Degrees of Wikipedia. This is similar to Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon except that it finds the shortest path between two wikipedia articles.

For instance, there are only 3 degrees of separation between the University of Michigan and testicles.

James Lipton Sucks

I just couldn't stop thinking today about how much of a kiss-ass James Lipton is. I realize this isn't news to anybody, but it drives me crazy. I heard that he recently had Dave Chappelle on Inside the Actor's Studio. While I'm a huge fan of Dave's, I think it's pretty ridiculous that he would appear on that show. I didn't see it, but from what I heard, he seemed to think it was strange himself. I started to wonder who were the most ridiculous people ever to appear on the show. Here's my top (or bottom) 5:

Rosie O'Donnell
Sylvester Stallone
Jennifer Lopez
Martin Lawrence
Roseanne Barr

Come on, Lipton. Have you already sucked the ass of every talented actor? Surely this can't be the case. Raise the bar. The only redeeming thing about you is that Will Ferrell made me laugh while impersonating you.

Back from Vegas

We have returned from Vegas in one piece. Lots of great memories and even more memories lost. Pictures are now up in the gallery.

Vegas Baby

I leave tonight for Tim's bachelor party in Las Vegas. I won't be posting anything until at least Tuesday, if I can open my eyes then. There are close to 20 of us going so it should be a blast. Insert random Swingers/Fear and Loathing/Ocean's 11 joke here.

New Movies

There are trailers out for two new movies that will hopefully prove to be classics.


Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I posted some pictures from this one a while ago when it was rumored to be called High, Wide and Handsome. It still looks hilarious. Will Ferrell stars as a NASCAR driver. It was directed by Adam McKay who also directed Anchorman.



Nacho Libre
This is a new Jack Black movie which will hopefully make up for King Kong. It comes from the creators of Napoleon Dynamite. Jack stars as a priest who moonlights as a luchador to save an orphanage.

Duck Hunt Magic

In my younger days I always wondered about the mystery of Duck Hunt. How does it know when I've hit or missed? There's no sensor in my television! Finally thanks to the internet I have the answer.

WashDryIron

Behold the WashDryIron, which will wash, dry, and iron your clothes for you. But why doesn't it fold them? What about putting them in your dresser? I think it could use some work.

Colbert Loses It

It would be a shame if you missed Stephen Colbert losing it while discussing The Splendiferous Zeppelin Escapades of Filliam H. Muffman.

Evil Cheney

Somehow I always knew the day would come when Vice President Cheney would shoot someone in the face.

Bonnaroo

Erin and I bought our tickets Saturday morning for the Bonnaroo Festival. I've wanted to go since it started but haven't for various reasons. We're pretty excited. If you haven't heard yet, here are some of the acts that will be playing:

Radiohead
Beck
Death Cab
Ben Folds
Bela Fleck
G. Love & Special Sauce
Medeski Martin & Wood
Blues Traveler
Tom Petty
Phil Lesh
Nickel Creek
moe
Bright Eyes
Rusted Root
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Donavon Frankenreiter
Dr John
Buddy Guy
Oysterhead
M Doughty
Seu Jorge

And many more. Yes, that's right. Radiohead is playing their first festival since Coachella in 2004. Rock on.

The Old Hide the...

Last night while google talking with Brian Farasey, of the Indian Hill Faraseys, I was for some reason motivated to google the phrase "the old hide the". I think I was looking for something better to say than sausage. Turns out there are some pretty hilarious results to that search. Here are some of my favorites:

the old hide-the-poop-in-the-garbage-can trick
the old hide the ball in the bucket play
the old hide the pill in something nummy trick
the old hide the camera in the elbow trick
the old hide the ball in the Jesus beard trick
the old hide the grey with blonde streaks
the old hide the voice-activated recorder in the bush beside the doggy door
the old hide the frankfurter thing
the old hide the money in the ice cream
the old hide the keg at the party and tell everyone youre out of beer trick
the old hide the screws under the rubber feet trick
the old hide the bomb in the instrument case
the old hide the mouse down the shorts game
the old hide the gum in the coolwhip trick
the old hide-the-spoils-in-a-man-eating-plant trick
the old hide the dog in the bobbing for apples bucket gag
the old hide the loot in the fish tank treasure chest next to the little diver
the old hide the interesting work of fiction in the textbook and pretend to be really engrossed in the subject method
the old Hide the Bow and Arrows in the bundle of Firewood trick
the old hide-the-mirv-in-the-exported-coke-vending-machine trick
the old hide the Alien Probe trick

and my favorite:

the old hide the man tits with the leather jacket trick

LEGO Harpsichord

Behold the greatness of a working harpsichord constructed entirely of LEGO blocks. I thought I made some pretty sweet things in my younger (and college) days with LEGOs, but that was nothing compared to this. Hats off.

And We're Back

Sorry for the recent outage. Dan was moving the server. Hopefully I have lost all (both) of my fans.

Superbowl Commercials

In case you missed last night's Superbowl commercials, Google video has them all in one place. The best ones were from Budweiser.

Celebrities with Mustaches

I love the internet because it's the only place you can find pictures of celebrities who don't have mustaches, with mustaches.

Anti-Chuck Norris

In response to the recent Chuck Norris craze there are now Anti-Chuck Norris facts. My favorite so far?

Chuck Norris was once heard saying, "Boy, I sure wish Jessica Simpson had smaller tits."